every day I’m jigglin’

Posted on January 16, 2012 by Marie

So how’s that running going? The short answer: It’s still not. I see my doctor again Friday, when he will, with hope, clear me to do ACTIVITIES. (Please visualize the word “activities” in 148-point Myspace-esque animated glitter text.) Until then, I’m stuck walking.

But today I cheated, a little bit. I’ve been feeling really good on my daily walks, so I decided to see what a nice, slow jog would feel like. (I mean REALLY slow. Probably slower than most of you walk.) I jogged for about a minute for every five or six minutes of walking and it felt…dare I say…good?

I didn’t feel any of that disjointedness many postpartum runners complain of. My incision didn’t rip open. No massive hemorrhaging of golfball-sized blood clots. My crotch is a little sore, but not nearly as bad as it was when I was nine months pregnant. But again, what I did could barely even be called jogging.

There was a lot of bouncing, though. If I’m going to be a runner again, I’m going to need a serious overhaul in the sports bra department. Perhaps something in a stainless steel. My jugs are even bigger now than they were when I was pregnant (I swear to god they’re like double-Z’s) and my biggest, most supportive sports bra is still no match for them. (Oh, and the next girl who tells me “you’re so lucky, I’d LOVE to have big boobs!” is getting stabbed in the face.) Also, my fupa. It felt like there was a third boob bouncing around down there. Disgusting.

And, I’ve completely lost my tolerance for winter weather. It was breezy and cloudy today and in the mid-40s. Pretty spectacular for January. I was wearing insulated running pants, a long-sleeve top, sweatshirt, hat and gloves. Just when I was beginning to feel minorly badass for just being outdoors, I see a girl running in a tech shirt and shorts and realized that’s what I used to wear in January back before motherhood made me into a gigantic pussy.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. I was going to complain, except that really, all things considered, a tiny bit of illegal jogging felt pretty damn good. I can’t wait to do it again for real.

I also can’t wait to take the snuggle muffin out with me in the jogging stroller and teach her how to blow snot rockets.

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  • Meighen Heyburn

    Dude. I have to wear 2 sports bras or a sports bra and a ‘yoga tank’ to keep the twins down for workout. I don’t even run anymore, but when I do any type of cardio I practically hit myself in the face with those things and I never had kids. I always said that once you get to a C cup they should automatically be titanium enhanced. I mean, really.

    Also, the title made me laugh pretty hard because in step class tonight (don’t judge, at least I’m doing something and it’s fun) one of her mixes had ‘every day I’m shufflin” in it and I got all excited and a little extra pep in my step (pun fully intended) because that song is so catchy.

    • http://cheaperthantherapy.me Marie

      Heh, I’ve had it stuck in my head since the last time I saw that KIA commercial with the hamsters!

  • http://www.gazellesoncrack.com/ Amy

    I am jealous of the running, for I have not been able to run comfortably for about a trimester. Also, I feel your boob pain. I am actually afraid of my boobs right now, as I think they are trying to take over a small country or something. I used to run in two (2!) moving comfort bras just to keep them down. I have no idea what I’ll do post-partum.

    Congrats on your lady bits not falling out!

    • http://cheaperthantherapy.me Marie

      I was there, too! Running got ridiculous toward the end. Everything hurt.

      Just wait til your jugs are engorged and hard as rocks. That is THE FUNNEST.

      • http://www.gazellesoncrack.com/ Amy

        So many fun things to look forward to! YAY for engorgement!

  • http://secondcityrandomness.wordpress.com/ Amy B @ Second City Randomness

    Way to be an overachiever! ha ha

    And at least you were outside- that’s better than I’ve done since, um, October?

    • http://cheaperthantherapy.me Marie

      It was unseasonably warm yesterday. Now we’re back to tornado-force winds and rain– aw, hell nah!

  • Bree

    I’m now barely a C during this pregnancy and I don’t want ‘em anymore. A friend of mine who is still nursing and was even less endowed than me to begin with agreed that we do. not. want. She scared me by saying “wait till your milk comes in! they get bigger!” FUN.

    It’s so far away, but I already look forward to the jogging stroller. I used to see a mom with a triple wide on my long runs this summer. I wanted to stop and salute her.

    Good for you on getting out there.

    • http://cheaperthantherapy.me Marie

      BIGGER! And HARD. I like to call them titty boners.

  • http://swimbikerundc.com/ Beth

    Moving comfort makes AWESOME sports bras. The Fiona even has velcro front straps which makes it adjustable and possibly easier for nursing (I wouldn’t know).

    • http://cheaperthantherapy.me Marie

      Thanks! Will definitely check them out.

  • http://twitter.com/LauraGeorginaOG Laura Ortiz-Garrett

    Congrats on the illegal exercise! You must be elated (by both the moving thing and the being a badass before getting clearance thing).

    In anticipation of running into the whole “rock boobs the size of colossal boulders while nursing” problem, I ordered two Moving Comfort bras about two cup sizes larger than my usual and they actually arrived just this morning! The Fiona looks like it’ll be decent (I have a bit of jiggle in it now, but then again I’m not that size yet). The Maia feels like I’ll be able to take a couple of bullets to the chest and not feel them–but that’s only if I actually get as huge as I think I might and actually fill it.

    I’m actually scared of how huge I’m likely to get while nursing–but also fascinated in a freaky science-experiment kind of way.

    • http://cheaperthantherapy.me Marie

      Okay, I’m definitely going to have to check out these Moving Comfort people. I knew they’d get big, but I really had no idea HOW big.

      I think the whole pregnancy was like one great big science experiment. I also feel like every health care worker in the state’s had their hand up my vag. Just thought I’d throw that in there because it’s sort of science-y.

  • http://braisetheroof.com/ Megan (Braise The Roof)

    As a small chested lady myself, I will not tell you that you are lucky to have big boobs (I mean, no one really needs a black eye when they innocently decided to jump on a backyard trampoline), but I WILL flip out if my boobs shrink after I have kids. This happens, and it would just be cruel.

    • http://cheaperthantherapy.me Marie

      Talk about cruel: The other day I said to my husband, “I feel like my boobs will never go back down.” And he goes, “oh, they’ll go down…down to your KNEES.” Zing.

  • http://www.stylishstealthyandhealthy.com Jessica

    omg promise me if you do have one of those gigantic blood clots you won’t tell me about it, or at least put a disclaimer at the beginning of your post. Just saying the word clot makes me dizzy and want to vom.

    • http://cheaperthantherapy.me Marie

      That is so not punk rock of you, Jess. But I think we’re past the blood clot stage anyway.SO YOU’RE LUCKY.

  • http://thenchangeit.com/ Kace

    A) Please include a picture of your cute baby in every post from now on.

    B) I hate those “I want your boobs!” girls. I’m just dealing with C/Ds, and I HATE THEM. I may never get pregnant out of pure fear of my back snapping in half when they blow up 4x their size.

    • http://cheaperthantherapy.me Marie

      YAY someone who likes to see baby pictures!! I almost did post one, and then I was like, “don’t be THAT girl, Marie.” Good to know.

  • http://www.melissanibbles.blogspot.com/ MelissaNibbles

    Duck tape! It works for everything.

    • http://cheaperthantherapy.me Marie

      I need a “WWMND?” bracelet to remind to make smart decisions like this.

  • Anon

    ENELL bra – 1/2 the price on Ebay – my DD’s barely move at all when I run. I’m a 34DD and got a size 1. They are TIGHT and ugly – but do the job well. It’s the only sports bra Oprah would wear..

  • http://myrunshorts.com/ RunShorts

    I have nothing of value to add, just a show of support as you work towards legal jogging.