A basic bitch weekend + kids


I know, I KNOW. I left the blog again in the middle of my REALLY IMPORTANT CHALLENGE.

I just want to say that I am sorry and filled with gratitude and love and ceramic animals. I want to do a good job. I want to do this with joy and excitement. I want to inspire you. Or something. Ceramic animals!


We drove up to Chicago (well, the suburbs) Friday to visit the in-laws and take Kenzie to a concert. It turns out my MIL is one of those people who is REALLY INTO pumpkin things.

A shame she doesn't have a blog.

A shame she doesn’t have a blog.

We took Kenzie to see Yo Gabba Gabba Live which blew her fucking mind.

mind exploded

Ordinarily when we go to a concert, we like to kick off the evening by loading up on drinks so we don’t have to shell out for the shitty $9 beers at the venue. But for this show we left the suburbs at 3:30 in the afternoon, drove straight to the venue and were home before dark. (The venue did still have shitty $9 beers but we didn’t have any.)

It was actually…pretty cool? Yo Gabba Gabba is one of the least annoying shows that Kenzie watches (looking at you, Peppa Pig), and we had so much fun watching her enjoy it.

The characters did all their “hit” songs from the show. At first Kenzie was just sort of mesmerized/dumbfounded, but then she got into it and pretty soon was dancing and jumping around and basically going ape shit.

And Biz Markie was there!

Straight from 1989 to your computer screen!

Straight from 1989 to your computer screen!

In case you’re so privileged as to not know everything there is to know about children’s television, Biz’s Beat of the Day is a regular installment on YGG. Several very special kids whose parents probably have more money than us got to go up on stage and beat-box with him. It was pretty hysterical.

We also went to our like, 3000th pumpkin patch of the season. #basicbitch

If there’s anything I’ve learned about parenting in the midwest, it’s that you take advantage of any kind of special outdoor kid activity you can while the weather is still nice.


This was probably the dopest of all the apple orchards and pumpkin patches we’ve been to this season. The big jumping thing alone was totally worth the 8 bucks it cost us to get in. (For anyone in the area, it’s called Kuiper Family Farm in Maple Park, IL.)

There was also a haunted forest walk, farm animals, a hay bale maze, a mountain slide and all kinds of other shit.

You might think a toddler would be afraid of something like this but no.

You might think a toddler would be afraid of something like this but no.

I also got out for a run on Saturday, but it was so basic it’s hardly worth mentioning. I’m mentioning it anyway because I’ve gotten past that “don’t care about running just in love with my kids” stage of new motherhood and now I’m  sort of yearning to run long distances again.

This is me yearning.

This is me yearning to run long distances.

I’m still taking things slowly and obediently doing my strength and conditioning work, and I do see some of that old muscle definition coming back, it’s just buried beneath a heavy layer of fat. I’m beginning to think I’m going to have to work hard to get my speed and endurance back, and that is just annoying.


Anyway, I know I have a lot to be grateful for. My kids are cute (AND SLEEPING AGAIN), it’s not snowing here yet, and I was smart enough to not sign up for a marathon while I was still pregnant.

That’s about all for now! If I think of anything else useful or topical to share, I’ll be sure to let you know.


We’re friends of the chick with the sword and the kid in the hat

Yeah so, quickly, I failed at my blogging challenge but we all knew it was going to happen right? I’m just not cut out for the life of a full-time blogger! I’m not committed! I’m not dedicated! I won’t shill for limp, processed broccoli or stand on my kitchen table to take pictures of my food! Justins has never sent me shit!

Let’s catch you up.

We went to the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta again this year. We went when Kenzie was 10 months old but this time, she was old enough to appreciate it for all it’s splendor.

Codie still didn't give a shit.

Codie still didn’t give a shit.

We also got to see some friends and family, watch the kids play, go running in the mountains and eat a lot of good food and drink some New Mexico craft beer (don’t laugh, they do have some there), but I won’t condescend you by pretending all those photos aren’t already on Instagram. (Regurgitating old content, the cornerstone of a successful blog!)

Our return flight was fairly uneventful except for a couple of baby blowouts which we accepted with utter grace and sophistication.

Worst nightmare: you wake up naked at the airport.

Worst nightmare: you wake up naked at the airport.

Also, to mark the expiration of the Wright Amendment, everyone on the plane got a free alcoholic beverage!

I spent Tuesday getting my shit back together and doing 180 loads of laundry. Kenzie is officially OFF NAPS so things are a little more challenging around here but I can’t complain or else people with real jobs will stop reading my blog.

A lot of people told us Kenzie would start going to bed again if we cut out the naps but I really didn’t want to believe it. She’d still go down for naps right away, but at bedtime, she’d get up 40 times and wouldn’t go to sleep until 10 or 11 p.m. We finally tried no-napping while we were in Albuquerque. We kept her super busy all day long and she went right to bed each night. Last night, she put up a little bit of a fight, but she was still quiet within 15 minutes. A VAST improvement. So it’s pretty clear: we can either have a peaceful afternoon or a peaceful evening and we chose evening.

And yeah, we still have that baby too, and she’s doing just fine. We’re working on getting her out of our room and into her crib, but the first two nights she was in there, she woke up every 1-2 hours so I quit that shit pretty fast. I think I have to commit to several nights of no sleep in order to crib-train (for lack of a kinder term), so I’m totally putting it off. I set an arbitrary crib deadline of next Thursday. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Beer and TV funsies!

Because what better time to talk about television than when I’ve committed myself to reading more?! Sunday was the season premier of The Walking Dead and I thought it was just brilliant! I’m not going to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t watched yet, but I really super enjoyed it. There was triumph and joy, tenderness, anguish, torment, fury, revenge, and of course lots and lots of blood spatter and fire and gore.

Only when f-bombs can be used on network television will be truly free.

Only when f-bombs can be dropped on network television will we truly be free.

Last night, I marked the return of the only show I give a shit about now that Breaking Bad is over with a pretty terrific zombie beer while we watched Talking Dead.



I’d heard from at least one person who wasn’t a fan of this beer, but I really liked it! 3 Floyds has never disappointed me, and this New Belgium gratzer ale collaboration was no exception.

For those who didn’t feel like clicking the link, it’s a “long-buried” (hence the zombies) style using Polish Lublin hops and oak-smoked wheat. It packed quite a bit of flavor into just 4.5% ABV; spicy, chocolatey, smokey and rich. And since I hardly ever drink anymore, it also packed a nice buzz.

Blog challenge reactivated!

So if we’re getting back on track with the challenge, your something scary for today can be that beer up there and that zombie WALKER show on AMC.

As for reading every day, I briefly tried reading instead of staring at my phone during the nighttime feedings, but Codie usually only nurses for about 30 seconds now before going right back to sleep, so I really don’t even have time to do that anymore. I’d get pulled into a good story only to look down and realize she’d been sleeping on me for like 10 minutes. And then I’d feel stupid for still being awake.

But now that they both go to bed at a decent time and aren’t for the present waking at the crack of dawn, I have no excuse not to read in the evenings before bed. Except when there are like, totally amazing shows on television that I just have to watch.

What do you like to watch on TV when you could be bettering your mind by reading books?

okay, just one regurgitated instagram photo

okay, just one regurgitated instagram photo


I flew on a plane with my kids today, somebody give me a medal!

Yeah, so we got our two lousy sleepers up at 4:30 this morning to fly across the country.

This was our first flight in more than a year and our third flight ever with kids. The last one sucked so bad we swore we’d never fly again, but…here we are.

Actually, it went surprsingly, amazingly well. Kenzie watched Frozen on the tablet and Codie slept! And I got to read an adult book for like, almost two hours straight! A post-baby reading PR!

The first thing I did when we arrived was go running in the high desert at 5,000+ feet elevation because I like to pretend I’m in shape.

Instagram Photo

These hills never look as steep in photos as they are in real life but take my fat, wheezy word for it. Hills.

Both kids were in bed by 6:30 tonight which was nice but most likely will backfire at sometime around 5 a.m. when they decide it’s time to get up for the day. The last time we were here, Kenzie woke up at 3 a.m., and both kids doing that is just about the scariest thing I can think of.

Of course I will keep you posted.