Today is one of those days that if I hadn’t been able to run, I’d probably be sitting in the middle of my living room, sobbing. It started when my eldest tore out of her room screaming at 2 a.m. and came to a head 12 hours later, when I’d JUST gotten both of them down for naps and the battery on Codie’s swing died. As soon as it stopped rocking, she grunted, arched her back, opened her eyes and began to wail.
Anyway. Let’s not fight about who’s busier or more tired or who works harder. I know I’m a stay-at-home-mom and I should be fucking grateful, checking my privilege hither and yon, but christ, some days I feel like sitting in an office where nobody is crying or throwing up on me might be a whole lot easier.
And then I remember pajamas all day.
Kenzie has been on a destructive streak. She’ll sweep everything off a table onto the floor and then just smirk. She’s exhibiting her leadership skills as the leaners-in like to say, and we’re trying so hard to be firm and consistent because we all know that people who aren’t disciplined as children grow up to be assholes. But she’s making us work for it.
She is also refusing to stay in her crib. The first time it happened, it proceeded a bedtime fit so it wasn’t THAT much of a shock. But the second and third time, she quietly hopped out, opened the door and strolled casually down the hall into the living room. Last night, there was a storm and rolling thunder that started at 2 a.m. and continued until dawn. Nobody slept except the baby.
We’re going to do the whole toddler bed transition thing soon, but we’re trying to approach it as delicately as possible so we don’t fuck her up even more. I don’t want it to seem like we’re rewarding her for getting out of the crib by giving her an even easier way to get out of the crib, you know? Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
A positive: she is astonishingly cute and bright and funny when she’s not driving me batshit insane.
Not to be outdone by her sister, the smaller of my progeny is refusing to take a bottle. Honestly, I always thought people who complained about this just weren’t trying hard enough. Kenzie always took a bottle and because I had one kid who took bottles, I assumed I knew everything there was to know about babies and bottles!
But, while it is true that a baby probably WILL take a bottle if she’s hungry enough, many people underestimate just how stubbornly they can refuse, kicking and screaming and pushing that bottle away like it’s full of the black plague. So for now, Codie and I are tethered to one another and I have to wait to have a drink until she’s gone to bed for the night. At which time I an usually too tired to do anything but crawl into bed myself.
I know, I know, my misfortune is breathtaking.
She is, however, ALMOST sleeping through the night. Most nights she sleeps from 9 or 10 p.m. until 4 a.m., and usually goes back down again for another two or three hours. I know it won’t last. I’m fully prepared for the 4 month, 8 month, 12 month and 2.5 year sleep regressions.
This morning I dropped them both off at the gym childcare and ran outside by myself for 45 glorious minutes. My crotch was aching and my knees were creaking, and I’m still 20-25 pounds overweight and ridiculously slow, but I’m optimistic. I feel closer to normal.
I have not jumped the gun and signed up for any races. I have no intention of wasting money on a race entry if there’s any chance I might suck at it. There’s plenty of time to get back to being a badass motherrunner when I’m getting more than four hours of sleep.