2015 Shamrock 5k Beer Run

Saturday I “ran” the Indy Shamrock 5k Beer Run, and if the “beer” in the title didn’t give it away, this was a great event for beer drinking, not so much if you were interested in actually racing.

A side note: I probably wrote way too many words on this casual running event but it was my first one since Thanksgiving and also BEER, so give me a break.

Even though it was an untimed beer drinking event, I was still sort of contemplating racing it (even if only against myself) just so I didn’t “waste” my Saturday run. When I got there I realized that even treating it as a practice race would just be ridiculous: the “starting corral” was filled with people in costumes drinking pints of beer.

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So I called it in my last post when I said whatever my plan was, I’d ditch it right before the race. I decided just to have fun.

Another side note: I still don’t entirely get the point of “fun runs.” If I want to run for fun, I can do that for free. I pay for the competition and the timing chip. That said, I wasn’t that dickhead who tries to race at a fun run.

I got my entry from a Groupon, and it was still $39! So what did that $39 (or $78 if you paid full price) entry go toward? A lot of really good local charities, but also beer. Sponsors included a number of local breweries, and there was a round at the start (about a 3-ounce pour), another one at each kilometer mark along the course, a full pint at the finish, AND the option to buy tickets for additional pints. I also got a long-sleeve shirt (non-tech), a cool pint glass, and a combination medal/bottle-opener.

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that I haven’t seen since the toddler seized it after the race.

When I arrived at registration about half an hour before the race start, there were a whole bunch of lines: a registration line, a packet-pickup line, a tickets-for-extra-beer line, and an ID-card check. I waited in the wrong line twice before I got a volunteer to hand me a shirt without showing her any documentation whatsoever. She wrote a number on my hand with a sharpie, and I was carded, but I basically could have walked in off the street and got the shirt, medal, pint glass and beer for free because no one ever asked for my Groupon voucher or proof of purchase.

Anyway, this whole post has ended up being not about the run because the run itself is hardly worth mentioning. I started late because my friends and I couldn’t figure out where the start actually was or which direction the course was going. It was hard to tell who was just standing around drinking and who was intending to actually run. After standing for about 15 minutes in what turned out to be the very, very back of the pack with a bunch of drinkers who had no intention of running or walking at all, we made our way up through the “corral” and “started” the “race.”

I did try to run hard in between the “aid station” stops but obviously didn’t come close to running to my full potential. (Again, BEER, so I’m not complaining!)  I did have a few sips of beer along the course but I skipped the pint at the end because I assumed I’d have to feed the baby. Of course she didn’t end up wanting to nurse until way later, but I wouldn’t have banked on that happening and it probably never will again.

Anyway, in conclusion, for those of you who may be in the Indianapolis area, if you’re looking for a St. Pat’s party where you can drink beer and pretend to work out and your money goes to a good cause, you should do the Shamrock beer run. If you want to run an actual, competitive, timed race, do the No Luck Run in Plainfield.

So I still need a race fix! My parents are coming to visit in a couple weeks (read: free babysitters) and I lucked out by finding a 3-4 mile trail race that’s just a few minutes from my house. Another not-a-PR race, but it will be competitive and timed, so that’ll be cool.

beerDo you do a shamrock run? Is it a RACE race or just an excuse to drink beer?

hi there

So I know I’m a shit blogger and I just want to say thanks to the tens of you who keep checking in and reading (and also to the dozen or so strangers each week who are still trying to figure out how to have a good-looking baby).

I can’t even remember what I’ve updated you on since the last time I blogged and I’m too lazy to look so if I repeat anything let’s just pretend I’m wasted.

Some things that have happened recently:

1. My shoulder thing is better. I did the exercises like I was supposed to and it doesn’t hurt to reach up or over or put on clothes anymore so I’m happy. It’s still tender and sometimes I move it wrong and it hurts a lot but it’s fine. I’m just glad it’s not something serious. It’s a pretty dumb thing to complain about in the whole scheme of things.

2. We went on our annual trip to BF, Missouri to visit the grandparents. This was a special trip because it was their 70th anniversary. 70. I got married when I was 25 (I think), so there’s very little chance of me living long enough to be married for 70 years. It’s kind of fucked up to think about.

The girls got to see their one and only cousin, who is actually the daughter of my husband’s cousin, and I don’t know what the hell that makes her so we just call them both cousins. She’s two and Kenzie’s three and they had a ball together.

3. I’m running a 5k on Saturday. It’s a St. Patrick’s beer thing in the afternoon and I haven’t decided how seriously I’m going to take it. I’m not sure I’m in PR shape and I don’t want to run hard if I don’t even have a chance. I’ll probably do what I normally do and have a plan that I will just completely abandon as soon as I get there.

4. IT’S FINALLY FUCKING WARM. We’ve had like, three moderately mild days (and I mean like, 40s and 50s) and we’ve been to the park all of those days. I even almost took the baby out for her very first run in the jogger, except that right as I was heading out the door, I realized the stroller was in the car that my husband was currently gone in, and I cursed. But there will be lots more time for that in between fun spring tornadoes.

And here are pictures because my kids are cooler than any words I can put here.

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something heartwarming about my children

I don’t know if it’s just hormones, but lately I’ve really been enjoying my kids.


Before you go all OMG in your Gretchen Weiner voice, I’ll explain. I love my kids like crazy. So much that sometimes I ache. I actually lay in bed at night and yearn for them (unless I’m drunk and then I’m okay). I sneak into their rooms to watch them sleep.


But having two littles (two very little littles at that) is hard, you guys. Codie turns eight months old TOMORROW and she isn’t quite crawling yet, but she can roll all the way across the room if you let her, and Kenzie is three years old and 90% potty-trained, and taking care of them both at the same time is sometimes a little more of a clusterfuck than I thought it would be, and I didn’t have any delusions about how clusterfucky it would be (except I guess I did).

mind blown

Also, even though one of them sleeps in, the other one still wakes up at the crack of dawn.


And having one more cultivator of bacteria in the house means somebody is almost always sick. I can only assume that someday all this germ exposure will pay off in the form of superhuman immunity, but in the meantime, amoxicillin.


When you’re thinking about having another kid, the rationale is that maybe since you’ve already got this one kid, adding another one isn’t going to be THAT hard because at least you know how to do a lot of parenting things already.

Except it turns out I don’t know how to do any parenting things. Codie is the polar opposite of Kenzie. And I’m not saying that like it’s her fault or she’s a BAD baby. They’re both good and healthy and happy and smart and I’m way luckier than I deserve to be for as much of a bitch as I am.

prince flouce

Codie smiles ALL THE TIME. Misses a nap? Smiles. Double ear infection? Smiles. Hasn’t pooped in four days? Lethargic, but smiling. But she doesn’t do anything the way I think she will.

no idea

But right around 6-7 months, when Codie could finally sit up and Kenzie was starting to figure out that she had somebody she could dress up and boss around all the time (“We’re going to turn this baby into a zebra!”), this cool thing happened. They started playing together.


I found that instead of having to be right there all the time holding the baby or making sure Kenzie didn’t hug her too hard or knock her over or hand her a choking hazard or mash her face into the carpet or step on her, I could just sit back and watch them. (I mean, I could do that it two minute increments before I had to run interference).

It felt glorious.

happy tears

I can see the future, you guys, And in it, the girls are playing together while I completely ignore them and get drunk. It’s what I envisioned the whole time I was pregnant. It’s what I’ve been waiting for since we brought #2 home from the hospital. Enjoying all the happy feels of being a mom and none of the work.

handler drunk

If only babies were born eight months old. And potty-trained.