2014 Gobble Gallop 5k

I decided to format most of this in sentence fragments and bullet points instead of a WHOLE SERIOUS RACE REPORT with all kinds of RUMINATING AND SHIT. It was just a little Thanksgiving 5k, not the RACE OF MY LIFE. I did end up doing remarkably better that I thought I would, so that was fun.

The race: Hendricks Regional Health YMCA Gobble Gallop 2014

Date: November 27, 2014

Location: A small town in Indiana.

Course: A loop around the YMCA’s fitness trail and through the adjacent neighborhood.

Start time: 8 a.m.

Entry: I think pre-registration was $20; I had to pay more when I signed up the night before the race. I can’t remember how much! Dumb.

Shirt: Long sleeve men’s tech shirt with a turkey on it.

Gun Time: 27:38

Chip Time: 27:16

Average Pace: 8:48

Overall: 147/628

Division: 12/79

Females: 49/360

Temperature at start: I’m guessing about 25. At one point I realized I was running with my mouth wide open and I’d lost some of the feeling in my tongue.

Some background: This was the third year for this race and also my third year running it. I did it in 2012 with Kenzie in the jogging stroller (apparently at the same exact pace I ran it this year, so that’s humbling), and last year I did it with Codie in my belly and PRed. So we have a history, this race and I.

The actual race: I was really surprised I didn’t positive split. What I FELT was that I went out way too fast, bombed in the second mile and spent the third just trying not to die. But my splits showed otherwise.


(I forgot to start my watch right away, so this is a little off.)

My current fitness level being what it is, I was planning to keep things casual and run somewhere around a 9:30-10:00 pace. Except that as soon as the race started, I decided to go ahead and try running at an uncomfortable pace from the start and just see how long I could hold it. I knew it was possible that I’d blow my load in the first mile and have to crawl to the finish, but with nothing really riding on this (like prize money, endorsements, months of training, airfare, hotel, all my hopes and dreams, that kind of stuff), I decided it was worth the risk.

The pace was comfortably uncomfortable for the first mile. I felt nervous when I saw some 8:40s on my watch because I just didn’t think that was a realistic pace for me to be running so early in the race, but I went with it. It felt good to be running hard again.

In the second mile I felt sluggish and sloppy. I’d start to zone out, then glance at my watch and see the numbers creeping up and I’d try to focus on getting them back down. My legs felt heavy.

Mile three just burned, and I don’t remember thinking about anything other than wanting to be finished.

I came really close to barfing when I was done, but other than that it turned out to be a not-awful 5k strategy (I’m calling it the “uncomfortable/sloppy/burn strategy” from now on), and one I hope to duplicate later this spring, but with splits in the 7:50s instead of the 8:50s. My PR is 25:06 and I did that when I was three months pregnant, so I don’t think 24:XX (or even 23:XX????) is too lofty a goal. (That is, if I ever decide to do a 5k again, because fuck.)


race selfie

All this time, you didn’t know I was a dude with a handlebar mustache, did you?

No-pants November, days 4-25 and some minutiae

Yeah, I’m way past due for an update on this, but it turns out this challenge isn’t nearly as clever or challenging as I thought it would be. Most of you reading this blog haven’t worn pants in years, AND you’ve managed to do that whilst being an even more productive member of society than I am. So good for you!

Anyway, so I’ve been rotating the same few pairs of leggings, yoga pants and sweat pants all month, and really it’s just getting old. I’m ready for real pants and for MY real pants to fit me again. But I’m going to go ahead and finish up No-pants November because I’m not a quitter and because Thanksgiving seems like the wrong time to start wearing real pants again. Plenty of time for that in January.

We’re staying home for Thanksgiving this year and not having any guests. That might sound curmudgeonly of us, but we’ve all been sick lately, and my husband is exhausted from work and kids and I am exhausted from kids so we’re just going to take it easy. I do miss our extended family but then I sit back and look and my messy house and think about how nice it is that I don’t have to clean it for anyone. We’re still going to make a turkey and stuffing though, because isn’t that what the holiday is all about?

And also drinking irresponsibly.

Also, the holiday is about drinking irresponsibly.

Speaking of meat, we started watching another TV series: Hannibal!

It’s loosely based on those novels by Thomas Harris. If you like watching fucked up shit (Kara), you should really watch this show. I’m really getting into it.

nothing-here-is-vegetarianAnd that seems like the perfect note on which to leave things. Have a nice weekend, bitches.

Weekly running and beer wrap-up: this won’t take long

So the other day I acted like it was the end of the world because my toddler threw up one time and I had kind of a bad cough, and I should have just kept my damn mouth shut because immediately after that all hell broke loose. I need to just not say things anymore.

I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say I filled prescriptions for cough syrup, anti-nausea medication and a chewable probiotic…

and eye drops.

Day 24: I'm thankful that Bob Costas removed the awful stigma associated with pink eye allowing my toddler to avoid playground degradation.

Day 24: I’m thankful that Bob Costas removed the awful stigma associated with pink eye, allowing my toddler to endure this illness shame-free. #sobrave #stoptouchingyourbutthole


On Friday after the family quarantine was lifted, I ran four miles on the gym treadmill and then went for a dismal jog outdoors on Sunday, and I dutifully logged these both on my spreadsheet because remembering is hard.

Monday .5 mi warmup + weights 0.5
Tuesday OFF + Green Flash Double Stout 0
Wed OFF 0
Thursday OFF + Left Hand Milk Stout 0
Friday TM 4 mi progression 4
Saturday OFF + Bell’s Winter White 0
Sunday 3 outside 3 7.5

I was able to do the treadmill miles at ALMOST a 10:00 pace (like 10:06) but I still find it infinitely more difficult to duplicate that effort outdoors. My three miles outside were at more like a 10:30.


There were more beers than runs last week, which kind of makes me feel like a worthless piece of shit, but I’m telling myself that those several days I spent doctoring my kids and waking up every hour of the night earned me every drop (even though I would have drank the beer either way).

The Green Flash Double Stout was the front runner and the Left Hand Milk Stout was a close second. And since I’ve been drinking stouts almost exclusively lately, Saturday night I switched things up with a Bell’s Winter White Ale. It was very pleasant but it left me wanting something a little heavier.

green flash double stout

Final thoughts

As someone who doesn’t even like to carry my car keys with me on a run, the extra 15-20 pounds or so I’m still carrying is really annoying me. I feel like I’m wearing a lead jacket when I run. I’m making some progress, but it’s slow going. This week I hope to get serious and do at least 12 miles (um…typing that almost made me cry), hopefully more like 15.

And I’m on the hunt for the world’s best winter warmer.